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Collection 2: Rebuilding the Marriage
(See Complete List of all 151 Questions Below)

These 151 Questions and Responses focus on the following Topics:
(The number of questions under each topic is shown in parenthesis.)

Separating? (4)
Marriage/Divorce? (23)
Therapists (6)
Rebuilding the Marriage (32)
Men and Women have Same Issues (7)
When the Affair Happened Long Ago (5)
Long-marrieds Dealing with Affair (3)
Talking and Getting Answers (45)
Trust and Forgiveness (10)
Sexual Issues (8)
Preventing a Recurrence (8)

Table of Contents for all 151 Questions

Separating?
What about separating?
Would a separation have helped?
Why does he want me now that I want a separation?
Will it help to separate?

Marriage/Divorce?
When will I be able to decide?
Should I go ahead with divorce?
How long do I wait?
When will we know we want to stay together?
Is it best to stay?
What about staying when they've had multiple affairs?
Is it time to call it quits?
How long should I wait to decide?
Should we give up and move on?
How do you know whether/when to divorce?
What do I do when he keeps changing?
Should I leave?
How long does it take to decide whether to stay or go?
Is it normal for him to be so undecided?
When is it time to let go and move on?
Will he/should he come back?
Should I go or stay?
Waiting 7 years to leave!?
When the person who had an affair won't decide?
How often does an affair lead to divorce?
How will I know if divorce is right for me?
Is there hope for reconciliation?
What about remarriage to the same spouse?

Therapists
How can I select a marriage counselor?
Counselors support for "talking?"
Should therapist have called for severing contact with third party?
Finding a therapist who understands?
What can I expect from a therapist?
Questions from counselors?

Rebuilding the Marriage
How can I make sense out of what happened?
Why would he get mad at me when he was having the affair?
Is it normal not to reveal everything?
What about the length and phases of affairs?
How can men compartmentalize affairs so easily?
Is he sincere?
How do I reach him?
What if I don't "miss" him anymore?
Is "total commitment" asking too much?
Is there any hope?
What about "high school sweethearts?"
How can I deal with his affair with his high school sweetheart?
Can he become "unwilling" to be dishonest?
Is he telling the truth?
What is the long-term effect, both emotionally and on the marriage?
What about the disillusionment with roles after a spouse's affair?
How do we get past this?
What if he's a hypocrite?
How can I deal with his pornography?
Intimacy?!
Will I ever be "in love" again?
What about your own marriage-after 50 years?
How can I deal with my anger and feel loving again?
What about renewing our marriage vows?
Can I ever respect my spouse again?
Which issue should be addressed first?
How do I keep my anger from pushing him away?
Still married, but feel divorced?
What's the difference between "love" and being "in love?"
What about "love" vs. "in love?"
Hope for rebuilding a better marriage?
Can a marriage grow stronger after an affair?

Men and Women have Same Issues
Help and support for men!?
Men dealing with wives' affair?
Dealing with my wife's affair?
What about men's pain from wives' affairs?
Men dealing with wife's affair?
Do men leave when wife has affair?
How many men actually stay married after a wife's affair?

When the Affair Happened Long Ago
How long does it take?
Learning of Long-ago Affairs?
Still dealing with the pain after 20 or 30 years?
Why would he tell me about an affair 15 years ago?
25 Years Ago

Long-marrieds Dealing with Affair
What about affairs among long-married couples?
"Long-marrieds" dealing with affairs?
Hope for an old married couple?

Talking and Getting Answers
Refusing to talk about the affair?
Not talking about the affair?
Can I move on without knowing details?
How can she lie like this?
Why do they lie?
Why won't he stop lying?
Why did he lie about details?
What if you never tell?
Can I risk telling her the truth?
Is it possible to recover without answers?
When should I stop asking questions?
How much should we discuss her affair?
How can I get answers to my questions?
How can I elicit empathy instead of anger?
What if he can't remember?
What is "taking responsibility?"
Why does he get so angry?
Should I stop asking?
Should I forget my questions?
Should I ask questions?
When will I get the whole truth?
How can I deal with learning there was more?
Can you "move on" after only a few months?
How can I bring up his affair?
Am I wrong to want everything to be honest?
Does asking questions impede our reconnection?
What about telling the details?
How much should we talk about her affair?
How can I go on without discussing the affair?
What if honesty leads to arguments?
What do you mean by "responsible" honesty?
Is it reasonable to want to talk about the affair?
Do they have a right to keep secrets?
Getting answers to my questions?
Why can't she say how she "feels" about her affair?
Is it unreasonable to want to know everything?
What were his "feelings" during the affair?
"Should" I ask for details?
How can I get answers?
Getting answers to my questions?
How can I talk to him when he only gets angry?
What about questions I really can't answer?
How much time should we spend talking?
Do you regret knowing?
What if you're not sure you want the answers?

Trust and Forgiveness
How do I "let go" and trust?
How can I trust without thinking about the affair?
How can I believe him again?
Should I believe and trust him?
How can I ever trust him again?
What if it happens again?
Steps to restoring trust?
Should my husband travel to see his friends after his affairs?
How can I forgive him?
How can we "forgive" each other?

Sexual Issues
Sex after the affair?
How can I stop thinking about the other woman during sex?
Is it normal to desire him after being so hurt?
How can I help my husband deal with his guilt?
How and when will I feel passion and loving feelings again?
Where's the passion?
How can I get past the painful images of them together?
What about STDs?

Preventing a Recurrence
How can we prevent an affair from happening again?
What if it happens again?
Is it true that they'll cheat again?
Will it happen again after he's been caught?
Will they have another affair?
Is it a "one-time" thing-or will it happen again?
How can I deal with his "friendship?"
Progress in Breaking the Code of Secrecy?

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