Peggy's Musings

Only the Good Die Young

I thought of this Billy Joel song this week when I was contemplating the loss of so much promise when the young do indeed die young. It happens far too often, and is always terrible - perhaps made even worse when it happens through senseless violence.

This is what happened here recently. Chelsea King, a wonderful 17-year-old girl who was a cross-country runner for her school, was killed while running in a beautiful park that “seemed” safe. The park included a recreation center, tennis courts, playground at the parking lot and houses within view of some of the park. But the park itself is fairly large with many trails that stretch for several miles. It’s a beautiful place to walk or run. In fact, my husband and I have gone walking there quite a few times, once taking our teenage granddaughter with us.

After Chelsea went missing, it took five days to find her body, buried in a shallow grave. (The alleged killer, a registered sex offender, is in jail and awaiting the trial process.) But I don’t want to focus on him or the murder itself. I want to focus on Chelsea, the beautiful young woman who will be greatly missed by all her friends and family.

She was described as the ‘perfect daughter’ – achieving in everything she did. And since most of us as parents, grandparents, etc., are close to a young woman like this, we tend to empathize with the pain and grief of those who knew her by recognizing that “It could have been my loved one.”

As a result, the wider community reached out to become involved in everything related to this situation – first participating in the search for her body, then in several other large events in her honor. There was a huge turnout for a candlelight gathering the evening of the day her body was found.

Then the following week, there was a “take back the park” walk/run for all those who wanted to reclaim the area where she died. About 3,500 people participated! (We decided not to go for that particular event, but the following day, we did walk the 3-mile path that had been designated with blue ribbons.)

Of course, nothing can change the tremendous loss, but it’s inspiring to see the way people are making every effort to honor her and her short life. And many of the young people here are thinking far more seriously about what they can learn from this experience. For instance, young women are now committed to always carrying cell phones when they run and to avoid running alone, etc.

In addition, Chelsea’s parents have already announced they are backing a proposed California law (to be called Chelsea’s Law) to strengthen restrictions on violent sexual predators. So out of the worst experiences of our lives, people often step up to ‘make a difference’ in the lives of others.

In fact, some of the most effective efforts to improve laws have come through the efforts of families who have suffered a terrible personal loss. One of the first was MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers), and one of the most visible is the work of John Walsh (the father of a young boy who was killed many years ago) in overseeing “America’s Most Wanted” – which is the longest-running program of any kind in the history of television. And there’s a long list of other great efforts that began from personal tragedy.

So as we reflect on this particular loss, it’s helpful to also recognize the efforts made by many people to honor their lives. All of us need to think about what we can personally do to make the world better (and safer) for our children – BEFORE being faced with a tragedy like this where a beautiful young woman died much too young.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.

Wake Up

As a ‘news junkie,’ I sometimes feel overloaded with all the bad news in the world. However, more and more I’m hearing about stories of people who are making a difference by actively working to make the lives of others easier to bear. It seems that the worse things get, the more compassion and caring we see from people trying to reach out and connect with those in greatest need.

I find it particularly interesting that this newest wave of volunteerism is coming at a time when so many of the people who are struggling themselves are still finding ways to help others. For instance, some people who are laid off from their jobs are using this time in volunteer efforts of all kinds. Somehow there’s a new appreciation for the importance of working for the ‘common good.’

I have a special interest in such efforts due to the fact that this year my husband co-founded a non-profit organization aimed at encouraging and supporting people in making a difference: Partners for Strong Communities.

Whether working as part of an organized effort or personally finding ways to reach out to help others, it’s encouraging to think that we may be moving closer to being a society that recognizes our joint connection and common humanity.

This thinking led me to search for the words to a song I heard more than 30 years ago while attending a two-week ‘psychosynthesis’ retreat. One of the people at the retreat was someone I knew only as “Eagle.” He had his guitar with him most of the time, and frequently broke into song – much of the time singing songs he had written himself.

One song in particular had one of the most uplifting lyrics I had ever heard. I wanted to hold on to the thoughts expressed in the song. So I asked him to write down the words for me – and I have saved them all these years.

At this point in time there is a great need for all of us to come together with love and respect for one another. So I hope these words will inspire you to see the ‘oneness’ that connects us – and motivate you to reach out and make a difference in the lives of others.

Eagles Song: Wake Up

Wake up and love one another
Don’t hold on to the pain that you’ve known
In your heart know that life’s a flowing river
And the pain you feel tells you that you’ve grown.

Wake up and give to each other
Celebrate the things that make you one
Know the depths that dwell within each other
And rejoice in the changes that have come.

We but borrowed from these sacred waters pouring
Life and death create the channels for the flowing
So allow all its currents to pass through
And love will grow in the other and in you.

Wake up and choose your own direction
Don’t be standing behind the things you fear
Be assured this will strengthen your connection
Your renewal will draw others near.

Wake up and realize your vision
Then your fears will all dissolve away
And when your strength is totally given
All of you will see a brighter day.

Fear and pain is that which does destroy
But for birth these are the tools that life employs
This is the pattern and this is the flow
Life remains but the forms forever go.

Wake up and love one another
Celebrate the things that make us one
Wake up and give to each other
And rejoice in the changes that will come.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.