Peggy's Musings

Some General Principles to Live By

I've been reading some books about 'how to live' - about ways to improve your overall quality of life. They reminded me of a great list of 'principles to live by' written by my husband, James Vaughan, more than 30 years ago and given to our (at that time) teenage kids.

1. Tell the truth. Honesty really is the best policy.

2. Perfect your ability to love. It's the most powerful force in the world.

3. Pay attention to two-year-olds and puppies. They know what's important.

4. Look at sunsets; smell the flowers; listen to the birds; touch the people you care about; taste life. Everything you need is there for you.

5. Take responsibility for meeting your own needs, but don't do it in ways that keep others from meeting theirs.

6. Forgive yourself and others. We're all doing the best we can to find our way.

7. Live by your own values. Others may think they know best for you, but you're the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions.

8. Listen to your body and take care of it. It's the best teacher you have now.

9. Laugh often and long. It really does help.

10. Hang out with people you like and admire. We tend to imitate those around us whether we want to or not.

11. Follow your dream. Life is exciting when you're pursuing your own goals - and you can do and have most anything you really want.

12. Learn from your failures and don't be afraid to fail often.

13. Life isn't fair, but it isn't unfair either. When things don't seem to be working for you, do something. Movement is the key to change and life itself.

14. Peace is possible and it begins with you and me.

15. One of the greatest paradoxes in life is that you get more when you give more.

16. Relationships are more important than things.

17. The greatest challenge you will ever have is to be yourself.

18. Be nice to prunes. You may be one someday.

Note: Our kids began calling us 'the prunes' (a kidding reference to our getting older) when we were in our early 40's. Now that we're in our 70's we appreciate that everyone who lives will 'be one someday.' But whatever age you are now is a good time to stop and reflect on your life and what principles you are living by today.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.

The Message of “Avatar”

Although I get most of my information from reading serious writings, I also frequently gain insights and perspective from movies and other media. I recently had this kind of experience in watching the movie “Avatar.”

Frankly, I had not intended to see the movie. I had read a lot about the technical wizardry, but wasn’t drawn to it – UNTIL I learned about the underlying message of the movie. My initial reaction to hearing about the movie and then changing my opinion when I heard word-of-mouth reports is similar to what happened with many women.

When the movie first opened, the audience was made up mostly of men who were attracted by the technical aspects and their familiarity with avatars in compter games. But since the plot became better known, the audience has been about evenly divided between men and women.

I don’t want to ‘give away’ the entire story, but for those of you who saw the movie, “Dances with Wolves” some years ago, the theme is somewhat similar. People from the ‘outside’ try to take over the land of the natives by force, but one man sees the beautiful qualities of the natives and switches sides.

In “Avatar,” the ‘natives’ are on another planet called Pandora, and the military from Earth tries to take their land by force. One of the marines, the central character in the film, comes to see the beautfil qualities of the natives and their connection with nature - and also switches sides.

One of the most inspiring parts of this movie is the strong point it makes about the avatars’ connection with nature (all plants and animals) - similar to the way American Indians valued nature in “Dance with Wolves.” But in “Avatar” the connection is even stronger because it is not restricted to a real-world place, but exists on another planet, albeit a fantasy land.

I have long been fascinated by the idea of our connection to all living things. In a previous blog that is currently part of my book, “Musings on Life,” I wrote about my favorite film of all time (that was not released in theaters) called “Where All Things Belong.”

Below is an excerpt from that writing which reinforces the idea that all things are connected.

“[The film] featured many of the ways of thinking of Native Americans who maintained a much closer connection to the earth, to nature, and to the world in general. The film provided many illustrations of the cycles of nature, including the ‘cycle of life’ by closing with a dramatic scene of a baby being born.

“When considering that humans differ from chimpanzees and bonobos by only one per cent of DNA (so close we could accept a blood transfusion or a kidney), we should be able to appreciate that humans are 100% linked biologically, in essence being ‘the same.’ But we continue to act as if anyone unlike us in any way (ethnic, religious, etc.) is somehow ‘different.’ But our differences are primarily due to our different perceptions based on filtering our view of the world through our own personal experiences.”

Our interconnectedness with each other and with all of nature seems to be a lesson we need to learn – and relearn – if we are to survive and thrive as a species. And the message of “Avatar” is just one more reminder that we’re all in this together.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.

Empowered to Do your Job

In these tough economic times, you may be far less likely to be concerned about being empowered to do your job – because you’re relieved if you simply HAVE a job. But even now (perhaps especially now) the best path to more job security is to force yourself beyond being paralyzed with fear and uncertainty to focus more on how you can stand out in a positive way – which is hard to do if you’re running scared.

While your company can establish a hierarchy of authority, it cannot bestow empowerment. Becoming empowered to do your job depends on your establishing both who you are and what you can do – which involves both your integrity and your assertiveness. Integrity reflects who you are – and assertiveness reflects what you do.

A person of integrity is real, credible, genuine, honest, authentic. (We recognize a person of integrity when we encounter them.) Having integrity involves being committed to fairness and equality, with no hidden agendas or ulterior motives. However, this does NOT mean just being “good” or “nice.” In fact, it takes real courage to be a person of integrity.

You’ll find that by displaying your integrity (being real and responsible), people are much more likely to trust you. And the confidence that comes from being trusted allows you to increase your ability to handle challenging situations.

Being recognized and appreciated for who you are creates a foundation from which to do what needs to be done. Your integrity as a person allows you to act in a way that is both responsible and assertive. It involves saying what needs to be said (whether or not it’s popular) and doing what’s needed, not what’s self-serving or expedient.

The bottom line is that empowerment is a process that starts with developing a new attitude, a new perspective – that job security is not enhanced by “playing it safe” or “holding back.” Although working in an empowered way doesn’t guarantee job security, it does provide a better chance of keeping your job – while also providing an important sense of personal satisfaction.

When people are empowered, they are energized.
When they’re energized, they’re motivated.
When they’re motivated, they’re more effective.
When they’re effective, they’re better satisfied and more productive.

It’s a win-win for everyone. So it’s important for every individual to become empowered to do their job.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.

If only I’d known then…

I’m approaching my 74th birthday, and often think about all the factors that go into ‘aging gracefully’ that I know now – but didn’t know back when I was younger. So I decided to try to organize a few of them for the benefit of younger generations, recognizing that generally everyone must learn these facts (the hard way) for themselves.

Young people generally feel invincible. When we’re young we feel we can do almost anything without serious consequences. This is especially true when the consequences don’t kick in until many years later. But what you do (or don’t do) when you’re young often determines what you can do later in life.

There’s a general recognition of how the actions we take when we’re young can affect our careers later on in life. But there’s often a failure to be aware of the many other areas where our early actions make a difference – particularly in areas related to health, fitness and general wellness.

So lets take a head-to-toe look at some of the areas that deserve early attention:

When we’re young…

We take our full, lustrous hair for granted. But harsh chemicals or other mistreatment earlier in life can lead to dry, brittle, thinning hair later on.

Most of us have great eyesight – and take it for granted. We engage in all kinds of activities that strain our eyes, particularly with so much close work with screens of all kinds and sizes. It helps to stop regularly (about every 15 minutes to look up and at a distance) to give our eyes a break. This can help avoid the long-term impact where many of us find that by the time we’re in our 40’s, we need glasses to see what we once saw quite easily on our own.

We don’t take wearing sunglasses seriously – often wearing them more for appearance than for practical reasons. But failing to protect our eyes from the harmful sun rays may lead to potential problems later on.

We resist the idea of always applying sunscreen; it seems like such a bother that we may not be inclined to apply it regularly. However, this omission leads to one of the most obvious results later in life: dry, wrinkled, damaged skin. Even worse, of course, is that it also increases the chances for developing skin cancer.

We eat stuff that can come back to haunt us when we’re older. If our parents allow us to eat a lot of ‘junk food,’ we develop a taste for it, but continuing to eat that way as an adult leads to a huge array of physical problems later in life, including high cholesterol, obesity, adult-onset diabetes, etc.

We usually brush our teeth fairly well and fairly regularly (at our parents’ urging), as well as visiting the dentist for checkups. But as we become adults we may not be as conscientous about our checkups, thinking cavities are only when we’re young. We also often fail to floss regularly – which is extremely important. (In fact, I once had a dentist who posted a sign saying: “You only need to floss the teeth you’d like to keep.") Later in life, you really appreciate the importance of having cared for your teeth all through the years.

Our strong backs mislead us into thinking we can get by with all kinds of lifting and other movements that put a strain on our backs. (It’s important to use your legs to lift rather than bending down, and to sit down to put on your pants/shoes, etc.) ‘Back problems’ are one of the leading issues as people get older, and the accumulation of all those times of abusing our backs takes an inevitable toll and can lead to almost constant pain.

We’re generally flexible, and may assume we will maintain that ease of movement through the years. But a failure to do daily, regular stretching leads most older people to develop stiffness and poor posture that becomes a daily hassle – as well as affecting our overall appearance.

Lots of walking and running around are normal for kids, but this often gradually diminishes through the years until the point where many people get virtually no regular aerobic exercise. This strongly contributes to the high prevalence of heart disease later in life. And even if you avoid heart problems, the lack of exercise can lead to difficulty in walking without a walker when you get older.

When it comes to caring for our feet, women are in far greater danger of doing damage to their feet that will come back to haunt them later on – due to wearing high heels. The human foot was never designed to be in the position required for heels, and certainly not for being in that position while bearing your full weight. Many women who sacrified foot care for appearance live to regret it when they have difficulty walking as they get older.

Here’s a quick review of the ways you can prepare for a long, healthy life:

Care for your hair; avoid harsh treatments
Don’t strain your eyes – take breaks to look at a distance
Wear sunglasses regularly
Wear sunscreen anytime you’re in the sun
Eat healthy foods, not so much ‘junk’
Brush, floss and get dental checkups
Protect your back – lift properly
Stretch and maintain your flexibility
Aerobic exercise is essential throughout life
Don’t abuse your feet with poor shoe choices

The above list is just a brief overview of SOME of the many aspects of our lifestyle choices that influence – or even sometimes determine – the quality of our lives when we’re older. So it’s smart to prepare now (no matter what age you are) for a future time when you’ll be dealing with the consequences of whatever you did (or didn’t do) now.

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.

Information-Knowledge-Wisdom

For over 25 years I have saved an article that provides some of the most relevant perspective about learning (and education) that I’ve ever seen. I don’t recall the source, but I do know it’s even more relevant today than it was back then.

We’ve heard for a long time that we now live in an ‘information society.’ In fact, we’re inundated with information – and more is at our fingertips through Google or some other search function on the Internet. Unfortunately, learning facts (‘information’) has been the foundation of our education system. But as the world continues to change at an accelerated rate, we need to educate our students for a lifetime of learning.

To pick up on the main point in the article, information is just a ‘resource.’ Alone, it doesn’t provide the kind of knowledge that we need to address the problems and challenges we all face every day – as individuals and members of a global society.

In addition, even ‘knowledge’ is not the ultimate goal of our learning and our education. In order to make the best use of our information and knowledge, we need to integrate it into a more meaningful, relevant whole – to achieve ‘wisdom.’

Here’s an overview of the differences between information, knowledge and wisdom.

Information is the raw material. It’s the sum total of all the facts and ideas that are available to be known by somebody at a given moment in time.

Knowledge is the result of somebody taking the mass of facts and ideas and selecting and organizing what is useful to somebody.

Wisdom is integrated knowledge – information made far more useful by crossing disciplinary barriers to weave into an integrated whole something more than the sum of the parts.

Here’s a description of a cartoon strip that illustrates how this process might have worked back in caveman days:

Information: The caveman looks around and gathers facts as to what things he finds in his environment: grass, dirt, rabbits, wolves, clouds providing rainfall, etc.

Knowledge: The caveman puts together the separate pieces of information: rabbits eat grass… grass grows in soil… rain falls from clouds… wolves eat rabbits… etc.

Wisdom: The caveman recognizes that if he kills off all the wolves, the rabbits will eat up the grass, and the soil will all wash away in the rain.

This simple example demonstrates the need to integrate all the information we teach in schools – in order to be prepared to organize data that can be used in any situation that may arise in the future.

So while we need to begin with information, it’s important to learn how to get information and USE it than to just memorize facts. While some schools go well beyond imparting information to learn how it’s applicable to real-life situations, there needs to be much more emphasis on integrating the facts and less on the facts themselves. In other words, we need to become better skilled at how to USE the information we learn in school.

We can’t possibly teach all the facts that a child will need throughout their lives. But if we can teach them how to learn, they’ll be set for life.

This kind of idea is well-expressed in the old saying attributed to Confucius:
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”

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NOTE: If you enjoy these blog posts, please check out the list of 107 similar 'musings' (and read 8 of them) included in my book Musings on Life.