Will He Really Leave Her for Me?
Understanding your Situation:
Making Decisions for your Happiness
by Rona B. Subotnik
This is a fantastic book, filling a huge gap in the current writings dealing with extramarital affairs. It is written specifically for, about and to the woman who is having an affair with a married man.
I have been frustrated that there has been nothing substantial to recommend to a woman in this position. (The best book I had seen on this topic, "The Mistress's Survival Manual," has been out of print for many years.) So I am very thankful to finally have something to recommend.
There is often little sympathy for a woman in this position, but, in fact, everyone (regardless of their role) gets hurt. In fact, the woman involved with a married man is almost guaranteed to be hurt when the affair ends. As this book gently points out, the various studies as to how often an affair leads to marriage vary from 1% to 10%. So it's clear that this is likely to be a very painful experience for the woman involved with a married man.
However, this book does not preach or lecture or throw out dire warnings. Rather it provides a way to systematically ask (and answer) all the various questions that arise at every step along this path. It is written in a very thoughtful and compassionate way, with genuine caring for the well-being of the reader. The information and perspective contained in this book can make it possible for a woman to think more clearly and make better decisions than would otherwise be possible.
While the primary audience is the single woman, it also includes the special circumstances involved when the woman herself is also married. In fact, I recommend this book not just for the woman involved in an affair, but for anyone who is interested in learning more about the dynamics involved in this kind of triangle.
Finally, I'd like to say that the author of this book is a friend, whom I greatly admire and respectboth personally and professionally. She is also the author of two previous books on affairs: Surviving Infidelity and Infidelity on the Internet.