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Unfaithful:
Rebuilding Trust after Infidelity
by Gary and Mona Shriver

The revised edition of this book was published in November 2009, having been initially published in 2005 with a slightly different subtitle. The new edition reflects a lot of what the authors have learned during the intervening years, allowing them to add helpful new insights and tools. It includes a healing timeline from a couple’s perspective, more information on the healing process itself, and a new section on emotional affairs.

But one of its greatest strengths is that it is one of those rare books that is written by a real couple telling their own personal story in dealing with affairs. I particularly value this kind of personal sharing because it's precisely what James and I did back in 1980 when we wrote our first book describing our own personal journey in dealing with his affairs.

In this instance (as with most of us who "go public"), Gary and Mona were motivated to come forward about their experience so that other couples could know there is hope, that marriages can and do heal. They use their story to show how couples can learn to move beyond crisis to a place where they can renew their hope, rebuild their trust, and ultimately, restore their marriages.

Gary and Mona each share, from their own perspectives, the impact of the affairs on their family, the strength they found in their faith, what it takes to endure, the importance of communication and forgiveness, and so much more.

Note that their approach (and the focus of this book) is from a strongly Christian framework. But if you are not seeking a faith-based resource, do not let that deter you from this book. Its benefit is clearly stated in a wonderful review in the October 2009 issue of Publisher's Weekly, saying:

"Though the Shriver’s present a strongly Christian perspective on dealing with adultery, their message is also pertinent to those outside the Christian faith community. Readers will appreciate their courage as well as the practical steps married couples can take to move through such a devastating experience and find forgiveness on the other side."

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