Tell Me No Lies:
How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage
by Ellyn Bader, Peter T. Pearson, Judith Schwartz
Frankly, I love this book. I had been unaware of it until I received an e-mail from someone who said how much they valued my writing and my website - and suggested this book as a candidate for my book reviews. (So this is a public "thank you" to that person.)
This book is convincing in showing the benefits of "honesty with compassion" - which is the same as the Responsible Honesty I describe as so essential in developing and sustaining a long-term satisfying relationship. It is also the key to dealing with affairs. While this book is not about affairs per se, one of the two in-depth case studies revolves around a couple where an affair is part of their pattern of lies.
While this book can be valuable for people dealing with affairs, it can be helpful for any couple who want the kind of close connection that is only possible by diminishing/limiting the lies that are routinely told in most relationships. But the benefit of reading this book goes far beyond simply avoiding the consequences of dishonesty. It illustrates the freedom, growth, and power of living a life that avoids the damaging impact of lies.
Finally, please be assured that the book goes beyond presenting ideas/concepts about lies. It also provides clear guidance in learning what to do to avoid being controlled by lies.