by Michele Weiner-Davis
The author maintains that divorce is not the only way, the most desirable way, or even the quickest way to end a troubled marriage. She proposes that the alternative is a step-by-step approach to transforming an ailing marriage into a healthy and happy one. Her approach is based on what she calls Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy (SBT) - which is a results-oriented approach. SBT's emphasis on finding solutions to marital problems rather than exploring the problem and developing explanations is based on a fairly simple formula: doing more of what works and less of what doesn't.
One of the most dramatic aspects of her approach is her proposal that you can "change your marriage by changing yourself." She says that if you want your marriage to change, you can change it. She offers a practical incentive for avoiding divorce - pointing out that since many people who divorce eventually remarry, it's important to recognize the saddening statistic that 60 percent of second marriages also end in divorce. So it's preferable to make a strong effort to address the problems in a relationship before deciding to end it.