This movie is receiving a great deal of media attention, including glowing reviews in major news outlets and "best picture" awards from many film critic's associations the Golden Globes. Since it is also expected to be nominated for several Academy Awards, it will continue to be in the news for the next couple of months. (I had read and heard a lot about this movie, so I went to see it for myself, primarily so I could report on it.)

Since the main storyline is about two cowboys who fall in love, it's being referred to as a "gay western." However, its particular relevance for visitors to this site is likely to be the fact that during the affair's two decades the men go on to marry women and have children. As with all affairs, they try to keep their relationship secret, but one of the wives discovers it. The scenes with her painful reactions are gut-wrenching—especially for those who have dealt with a spouse's affair. (Dealing with a homosexual affair has all of the components of a heterosexual affair on an emotional level—plus some additional dynamics.)

As you know, once you have personally experienced a spouse's affair, it can be painful to be faced with the many media "reminders" of this general subject; so each person can decide for themselves whether to see this particular movie. However, it's impossible to avoid being repeatedly exposed to such reminders because the issue of affairs permeates the storyline of so many movies, TV shows, etc. But each new incident doesn't have to be another stake in the heart. It's possible to use the continued exposure to become somewhat more "desensitized" to the power of these stories to disturb.

For those dealing with a "gay affair"...

The period covered by the movie "Brokeback Mountain" begins in 1963, but this is a bigger current-day issue than most people realize. In fact, during the week of December 22, Oprah aired a repeat of a show titled: "My Husband is Gay." One of the show's participants was Carol Grever who wrote a book about her experience in dealing with this situation, My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Guide to Surviving the Crisis.

Here is the publisher's brief description of the book:
"Carol Grever and her husband Jim were high school sweethearts who married in their early 20s. Thirty years and two children later, Jim announced to his wife that he was homosexual. A fundamentalist Christian, he had been leading a double life for years. In an effort to process her pain and confusion, Carol Grever sought out other heterosexual women, of all ages, ethnicities and educational backgrounds, who were married to gay men. The stories she uncovered examine these women's coping strategies and form the basis of this manual for healing."

For more information and resources, you can check out these websites:
Gay Husbands - Straight Wives
Straight Spouse Network (for both men and women)