DearPeggy.com


Teens: Sex and Secrecy

Since 1998 (when we were bombarded with sexual details about the Clinton Crisis), many parents have struggled with what to say to their kids about sexual issues—especially when "forced" to discuss it due to stories in the news. While this crisis certainly wasn't the preferred catalyst for talking to kids about sex, it did highlight the need to address the general discomfort, awkwardness, and embarrassment that most parents feel about discussing sex with their children.

It's not surprising that parents are unprepared to deal with any news reports of various crises regarding sex. However, the general lack of honest communication with our kids about sex is ALSO a crisis—a "quiet crisis" that's happening in thousands of families every day. (To learn more about how to talk to your kids about sex, see: For Parents Only: Providing Sex Education for your Children.)

The reason this lack of discussion is a crisis is because it makes it virtually impossible for teenagers to learn to talk honestly about sexual issues, thereby "conditioning" them that sex and deception go hand-in-hand. This not only leads to more irresponsible decisions regarding their sexual activity as teens, it also contributes to the irresponsible decisions they make about sexual activity as adults, especially regarding extramarital affairs.

For instance, when a teenager is tempted to have sex (but knows they shouldn't), they're likely to go ahead and do it—and pretend to their parents that they're not. Then when they marry, if they're tempted to have an affair (but know that they shouldn't), they're likely to go ahead and do it—and pretend to their SPOUSE that they're not. They've already had "training" in how to behave in one way while pretending something quite different.

While we certainly can't "blame" affairs on this "learned deception" as teenagers, we need to recognize that it is one of the most pervasive factors in the general lack of responsible honesty about sexual issues in all areas of our lives.

For more discussion of these issues (including both the need for better sex education of young people AND dealing with the impact of affairs on children), just follow these links to some pages previously posted on the Website that deal with these issues.

For Parents Only: Providing Sex Education for your Children

Now more than ever, kids need effective sex ed

"Parents' Dilemma in Dealing with Sex in the News"

Affairs | Life-Planning | Marriage & Family | Media Articles

Home | Articles | Free Q&A's | Free Books | BAN | Testimonials | Therapists | About Us

Copyright © 1996 - 2012 DearPeggy.com, All Rights Reserved
Home Page Articles Free Q&A's Free Books BAN Support Groups Testimonials Therapists About Us Articles about Affairs Articles about Rethinking your Life Articles about Marriage and Family Articles about Affairs Articles about Rethinking your Life Articles about Marriage and Family Articles about the Media